When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
