If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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