Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
