sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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