turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
