Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
