I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
