We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The maid of honor just puked.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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