Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What a dumb baby whore.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How does it feel to date your dad?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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