he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
