They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
