i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
