i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
