Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
