went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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