Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
