this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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