My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
