they need to just BURY HIM!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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