I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
