I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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