im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
