The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
