i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
