I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
