is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My bed smells like the plague
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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