$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
