i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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