hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
