When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
