I'm gonna have a badass scar
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize