when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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