Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
