So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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