we're chasing vodka with high fives
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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