Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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