i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
