Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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