I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
