It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
