I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
