Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
