Me too!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Alive.
So much puke
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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