i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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