I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
