Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
