You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
