She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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