Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
