She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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