oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
