good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
