Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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