One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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