They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize