Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
